The original zero-calorie hydrator vs. sugar water.

The original zero-calorie hydrator vs. sugar water.

G2 is a Gatorade product designed to be “off the field” hydration for athletes. And here’s the advertising pitch: It’s a “low-calorie hydrator”

I spotted that on a recent trip to the grocery store and I may have actually said this out loud: “You’ve got to be kidding.”

No kidding.

Of course, water doesn’t come in flavors (not in its “raw” form anyway), and it doesn’t have seven grams of tasty sugar per eight-ounce serving, but it does have a long history as the ideal zero-calorie hydrator.

When I got home I checked the G2 web site, which informs us: “Many athletes prefer fewer calories in an everyday beverage.” But it seems that avoiding calories is one of the “challenges” of off the field hydration.

Maybe these “many athletes” just arrived from Mars and aren’t yet clear on what that spigot in the kitchen is for.

Meanwhile, for Earth athletes who are familiar with indoor plumbing, maybe Gatorade should consider a more realistic sales pitch – something like, “Tastier than water.” Or: “More colorful than water.” Or: “Hydrates nearly as well as water, but with a bunch of calories and sugar.”