Infiltrating enemy territory

Agent in Place

It would be dramatic to say I was infiltrating enemy territory. But, to be honest, that’s really how I felt.

I recently had an opportunity to spend a couple of days at the American Pharmacists Association (APhA) Annual Meeting & Exposition, where about 5,000 pharmacists and pharmacy students came to learn what’s new in the industry and to enjoy the attention of recruitment come-ons. I attended the expo with a friend who sells equipment used in pharmacies. He needed an extra hand, so I went along to help out – not as an outspoken advocate of alternative medicine, but as an “assistant” for his company.

I’d like to say I barely made it out alive that the pharma reps recognized my name and surrounded me with fiery torches (and then sell the movie rights to a Hollywood producer). But the fact is, the experience was high on amusement and low on drama.

Bells & whistles

Let me tell you: When drug companies set up for an expo like APhA, there’s no skimping on the bells and whistles to attract attendees who drift from booth to booth, filling up their booty bags with cute giveaways and tons of fliers, reports, free samples, etc. I saw one woman who could barely carry her four bags out of the convention center. In fact, she almost fell over right in front of me. (Here’s a tip for drug companies: Next year, hire some bellhops. They can help people cart all their stuff away while wearing uniforms emblazoned with Prozac or Lipitor logos.)

The Prilosec booth (if you can call an 80 x 80 foot area with theater seating and 5 big-screen TVs a “booth”) offered a mystery gift bag to anyone who agreed to sit for a short sales pitch. But giveaways accounted for just part of the swag. There were also plenty of snacks and beverages. Free espresso was a very popular come-on at the Prevacid booth. And for those who might experience stomach discomfort after a little too much coffee, well, there’s always Prevacid!

Strange water

The most unsettling thing I saw? It was a toss up between a pad of Post-It notes or a footbath with massage.

The Post-Its were in the shape of an ear – advertising an earwax removal kit. I imagined pharmacists thinking they’re very funny and sticking notes all over their colleagues’ folders for the next few weeks that say, “Can you hear me now?”

The footbath and massage this was not a massaging foot bath. Some poor woman had to sit there and rub people’s feet by hand (and she wasn’t wearing gloves!). When I saw the tub, I couldn’t help but wonder what the fungus level was like in there. Then I started to wonder if it was a clever way of getting pharmacists interested in some new anti-fungal treatment they were about to introduce

I have to admit, I was a little taken aback by a banner over the Social Security Administration booth that read: “Can’t afford your prescriptions? We can help.” Come on – this was an expo for PHARMACISTS! Do we really need our tax dollars to pay $4,000 for a booth – not to mention travel and overtime – to tell pharmacists (mostly students, at that) that Social Security can help other people with their prescriptions?

At the end of the show, I was focused on three main thoughts: 1) I didn’t realize pharmacists had so much influence over what was prescribed or distributed. I thought they simply fill what doctors scribble down; 2) The big pharma companies (and even the smaller ones) spend an obscene amount of money to get even one pharmacist’s attention; and 3) Even after three long and grueling days in the exhibit hall, the idea of the public footbath was still just horrible.