Caregivers can find support, even if doctors don’t offer it
If you’re the caregiver for a seriously ill loved one, you have the toughest job imaginable.
It not only comes with the anxiety of dealing with a sick family member, but unrelenting stress, sleepless nights and expectations that often go far beyond the call of duty.
And often caregivers are given little to no help when it comes to their needs.
Now, a new study from the University of Missouri School of Medicine has put some numbers to the problem. The researchers found that 23 percent of caregivers — around 8 million — may be moderately or severely depressed, and approximately a third — more than 11 million — are suffering from moderate or severe anxiety.
Fortunately, there are resources available for helping family caregivers cope. But all too often, health professionals are only focused on the patient’s problems, leaving those who are on duty 24/7 to fend for themselves.
Back in the good old days when doctors made house calls, an incurable or chronic illness was “a family disease,” in which the caregiver was also a patient. And since communities were also more tightly knit, help was also available from friends, relatives and churches or synagogues.
Now, however, most families are scattered all over the map. And support, which could come in the form of a few hours “off duty,” a meal or even a shoulder to lean on, often just isn’t there anymore.
“We have a population that is under immense stress and is not being acknowledged,” said Debra Parker-Oliver, Ph.D., professor in the Department of Family and Community Medicine and the study’s lead researcher.
On top of that, many people are now faced with the ordeal of having to tend to family members with diseases like Alzheimer’s, which, she notes, makes them prone to even higher levels of depression.
Ray, who took care of his mother who was suffering from Alzheimer’s, writes that while in the Navy he had what was considered the second most dangerous job in the world, on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier. Yet caring for his mom, he said, was “the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.”
And I’m sure he speaks for many sons and daughters, husbands and wives.
While it may seem like you’re in the middle of the wilderness, there is help available — you just have to know how to find it.
One good place to look is the AARP. The organization has numerous resources to help with specific challenges such as Alzheimer’s and dementia care, along with ideas on how to lower your stress and even what federal programs are available that can help with services and home health needs.
Another good resource is the Veterans Administration, which lists caregiver support programs including home-based primary care and home health-aide programs. And other organizations such as the Family Caregiver Alliance are excellent online support sources.
One word of advice that experts repeat again and again is that you can’t forget to also care for yourself. That’s not being selfish. It’s actually the best way to stay strong and continue to be able to care for someone you love.
As Parker-Oliver said, doctors and other health providers are myopically focused on the patient. But in reality, doctors have “two patients,” the caregiver and the person who is ill, she said.
So even if the doctor treating the person you’re caring for fails to extend you a helping hand, that doesn’t mean one isn’t available.
“Caregivers should be screened early, often to prevent depression, anxiety” University of Missouri Health, February, 10, 2017, ScienceDaily, sciencedaily.com
