Even in satire, the FDA doesn’t get it right

Ignoring for a second their epic fail at the Oscars, I still turn to The Onion regularly for the best fake news.

And they didn’t disappoint this week when they reported on a surprise FDA action. A spokesperson said the agency plans to relax the definition of “smoothie.”

According to the report, this is a first in more than 50 years of strict “thick-drink regulation.”

The new “smoothie” standard will allow kiwi and Bartlett pear flavors. But the most controversial change (and my favorite line of the piece) regards a Pfizer beverage. It’s a blend of Xanax, whiskey and ice.

The FDA will now categorize that mixture as a yogurt drink.

Too funny (assuming, of course, it’s a joke!)

Sources:
“FDA Relaxes Definition Of Smoothie” The Onion, 3/19/13, theonion.com

“Pfizer Kingpin Gunned Down In Ongoing Prescription Drug Cartel Turf War” The Onion, 3/15/13, theonion.com