Think you can handle the pressure of a Granola Nut Clusters lifestyle?

A friend offered me some Nature Valley Granola Nut Clusters.

Sure. Why not? And I wasn’t sorry. They’re tasty. A little heavy on the sugar and processed carbs, but tasty.

But I was a little mystified by this note in small letters at the top of the bag: “Resealable for your lifestyle.”

What? You talking to me? MY lifestyle? What do the folks at Nature Valley know about my lifestyle? What could they possibly know about my snack package resealing issues?

“Resealable for freshness.” That would make sense.

“Resealable to avoid spills.” A little overly cautious, but still, it makes sense.

“Resealable for your lifestyle.” It doesn’t compute.

Unless it’s a subtle hint: “Your lifestyle isn’t a eat-the- whole-bag lifestyle. Right? You don’t eat entire five-ounce bags of snacks. Of course not. You have a little restraint. Overeating? No. That’s not you. That’s not how you roll.”

As I said, I sort of liked Granola Nut Clusters. But I don’t think I’ll actually buy a bag for myself. I’m not sure I’m ready to handle the pressure of a Granola Nut Clusters lifestyle.

To Your Good Health,

Jenny Thompson