We may have found a brand new sarcastic catchphrase.

We may have found a brand new sarcastic catchphrase.

When FDA officials recently advised consumers to discard all toothpaste made in China, they inadvertently coined a catchphrase: “about as safe as Chinese toothpaste.”

That old rickety roller coaster? It’s about as safe as Chinese toothpaste.

Sure. That works.

In the e-Alert “Officials Say the Darndest Things!” (6/13/07), I told you how toothpaste shipments from China had been blocked from entering the U.S. after a toxic chemical was detected in Chinese toothpaste sold in other countries. The chemical is diethylene glycol – described by the New York Times as a “syrupy poison” used in antifreeze. It was included in the toothpaste formula as a less expensive alternative to glycerin.

At the end of June the Times reported an unexpected surprise: About 900,000 tubes of the syrupy poison toothpaste were being used in U.S. prisons, juvenile detention centers, hospitals for the mentally ill, and even hospitals that are open to the general public. Nice.

Officials in Georgia confirmed that the toothpaste had been distributed to more than 80 prisons in their state.

The FDA has warned that even small amounts of diethylene glycol may cause injury to children, as well as patients with liver or kidney disease. Ah, but don’t you worry about it. This concern is unjustified! Well, unjustified according to Chinese regulators who told the Times that small amounts of diethylene are not harmful.

Yeah, you know us Americans – just a bunch of fussbudgets who can’t handle a little antifreeze in our toothpaste.