Tour de Dog

Move over, Lance Armstrong. There’s another human dynamo out there who’s dominating a sport year after year, leaving all other contestants panting in his wake.

Last week, Takeru Kobayashi stepped up to a table at Coney Island and successfully defended his five consecutive championship titles by chomping down 53.75 hot dogs at the 87th annual Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest.

I don’t know about you, but it takes me about a decade to eat 53.75 hot dogs. Mr. Kobayashi did it in just 12 minutes.

Almost as amazing: The guy who came in second ate 52.

Mad skills

Gobbling more than 50 franks in the time it takes most of us to eat just one or two is, undeniably, a world-class pace. But c’mon does that really qualify it as a sport?

Well, ask the producers at ESPN. They offered viewers a live broadcast of the contest, which was overseen by the International Federation of Competitive Eating. That may sound like a setup for a Monty Python sketch, but the IFOCE is quite real. According to their web site (ifoce.com), the federation supervises and regulates eating contests throughout the world, ensures safety, and helps create “an environment in which fans may enjoy the display of competitive eating skill.”

Skill! Who knew?

And just like any sport, competitive eating has its high-profile players.

• The legendary star: 27-year-old Kobayashi – known as Koby – from Nagano, Japan, who is reputed to have six-pack abs, and says he actually prefers tofu to tube steak
• The up-and-comer: Joey Chestnut, the college student who came in second at the Nathan’s competition this year and holds the world record for eating deep-fried asparagus
• The dark horse: 105 pound Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas who came in third and whose impressively long resume on ifoce.com boasts a 2005 championship in which she downed 46 dozen oysters in 10 minutes

Don’t get out your calculator, I’ll do it for you: That’s 552 oysters – one oyster every 1.08 seconds.

If you give a speed eater a muffin

The sheer caloric intake is staggering. The San Francisco Chronicle estimated that Koby consumed about 15,000 calories during his 12-minute feast.

Let’s put that in perspective.

Say you’re feeling a little peckish and head out one evening to get a bite to eat. Maybe you fortify yourself by starting off with a Starbucks peppermint mocha Frappuccino Grande with whipped cream, then drop by a Taco Bell for a Crunchwrap Supreme (good to go!), and of course you’ll want some nachos with that.

Then you really dig in.

At Red Lobster, you order a jumbo shrimp cocktail, a steamed Maine lobster and a baked potato with Pico de Gallo. Over at the Olive Garden, you just can’t resist a plate of capellini pomodoro. Still hungry for Italian, you polish off an entire large Pepperoni Lover’s stuffed crust pizza at Domino’s. Then it’s on to Chili’s for the baby back ribs and chicken, Panda Express for Kung Pao Chicken, Popeye’s for a catfish sandwich, and Burger King for a triple Whopper with cheese.

Naturally you saved room for desert, so when you see the “Hot” light lit up at Krispy Kreme you stop in for a dozen glazed doughnuts, which you wolf down on your way to Baskin-Robbins for a Banana Royale Sundae. And then – just to make sure you don’t wake up hungry during the night – you top it all off with (what else?) a Nathan’s Famous hot dog. Chili? Sure – throw on some chili. And yes, you get fries with that. And a soda.

According to the calorie calculator at caloriesperhour.com, after this binge you would still have to consume about 1,500 additional calories to equal 15,000.

But if you can do it all in 12 minutes, indigestion, fame and glory await.

Sources:
“Controversy Dogs Eating Contest” San Francisco Chronicle, 7/5/06, sfgate.com
“Kobayashi Sets New Hot Dog Eating Record” Associated Press, 7/4/06, msn.foxsports.com
“Japan’s Hot Dog Hot Shot Prefers Tofu” Reuters, 7/5/06, reuters.com