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Is your coffee dysfunctional?

The time has come to ask yourself this daunting question: Is your coffee dysfunctional?

Sure, that first cup of Joe may deliver the caffeine boost you need to speed you on your way, but if it doesn’t also increase stamina, enhance long-term memory, and reduce stress, then your daily java – I hate to be the one to tell you – is SO five minutes ago.

This month, 7-Eleven introduced Fusion Energy coffee, which may sound like just another bottled “coffee drink,” but it’s actually freshly brewed coffee blended with ginseng, guarana, and yerba mat.

Donald Driver, the coffee manager for 7-Eleven, describes Fusion Energy coffee as a “functional hot beverage,” and a “marrying” of energy and coffee.

Um aren’t coffee and energy already married?

Sure, but here in the 21st Century, a caffeine buzz is just not enough anymore. You have to get some function in there too. So the 7-Eleven coffee brain trust found a way to add some power herbals without changing the taste of the coffee.

I can vouch for that taste claim because I tried some. It smelled and tasted just like coffee. And it produced that familiar caffeine boost. But I can’t say for certain that the yerba mat increased my energy, or the ginseng improved my memory, or the guarana prolonged my physical endurance. But then, many botanicals need to be taken daily for a while before their benefits kick in, so that might be the case with Fusion Energy coffee as well.

I should note that I’m offering a very generous benefit of the doubt here. After all, if these three herbals were in capsule form, instead of blended with coffee, would you ever, even for a minute, consider buying a 7-Eleven brand of herbal supplement?

“7-Eleven Launches To-Go Coffee with Herbal Extracts” Nutraceuticals World, 2/19/07,