Some people find him vulgar, some think he’s hysterical. Either way, George Carlin certainly gets people’s attention. Most of us remember him for the controversy caused by his “seven words you can’t say on television” bit. But I always remember his classic routine about oxymorons. In his typical irreverent way, Carlin lampooned examples of contradictory word pairs, like “jumbo shrimp” and “unbiased opinion.” Never has a subject straight out of high school English class been so funny.
I hadn’t thought of that old routine in years. But yesterday I saw an ad in the paper that brought the irony of oxymorons to mind again. Unfortunately, this time the example was anything but amusing.
“Omni. The First Reduced Carcinogen Cigarette,” reads the headline that tops a full-page ad from Vector Tobacco, entitled, “An Open Letter to American Smokers.” The topic is their new brand of cigarettes, which they claim contains fewer carcinogens while delivering the same taste as standard cigarettes. From what I can gather, this ad is running in major metropolitan dailies throughout the country, as well as in popular magazines like “People.”
The fish monger’s yelling “Rotten Fish!”
I’m no fan of government intervention. I don’t want someone in Washington telling me what I can and cannot do. So I don’t dispute Vector’s right to develop a cigarette like this or the right for adults to buy and smoke them if they so choose.
But when you think about it, it really is bizarre. Here’s a company acknowledging that its products cause cancer. They’re telling you that if you buy and use their product, it can kill you. But now they may have found a way to make their product A LITTLE LESS LETHAL! So, go out and buy some today
Imagine this strategy taking the advertising world by storm. Next we’ll see ads for drinking water with “lower levels of contaminants,” and ground beef with “slightly less e. coli.”
I guess the tobacco companies figured they had to do something. The industry has been under increasing government pressure. Studies tell us that fewer people are smoking. Tobacco company profits are way down, lawsuits and rewards are way up, and some say they’re in danger of collapse. They had to find some way to attract new customers.
“There’s no such thing as a safe cigarette”
Let’s face it, every smoker knows that cigarettes are bad for their health, yet millions of people choose to smoke anyway. The tobacco companies are banking on our inexhaustible ability to rationalize. The body copy of the ad says, “Let me be perfectly clear – there is no such thing as a safe cigarette, and we do not encourage anyone to smoke. But, we strongly believe that if you do smoke, OMNI is the best alternative.”
That may be true. “Fewer carcinogens” certainly sounds better than “more carcinogens.” But Vector isn’t providing any hard science – and they’ll readily admit that there is no proof that these cigarettes actually reduce the risk of any type of cancer. The new cigarettes do have lower levels of PAHs, nitrosamines, and catechols, three of the carcinogens identified in cigarettes. But how low is “lower”? And who’s to say that these “lower” levels are any safer? Plus Omni still contains the same levels of tar, carbon monoxide, and over 4,000 chemicals that are harmful.
But even if they can prove that Omni cigarettes provide a lower cancer risk, it doesn’t negate the fact that the BEST alternative is to not smoke at all. It’s like saying, “If you MUST shoot yourself, aim for your foot instead of your head.” Either one is bad – and the best answer is to put down the gun.
You can quit today with a natural approach
Quitting may be the best answer, but I know it’s not always an easy one. I smoked for about 15 years, and I did have a hard time kicking the habit. To make it a little easier, I convinced my husband to do it with me. (It’s that misery loving company thing, I guess.) It’s been almost nine years, and we’ve saved at least $15,000 – and have been much healthier.
If you’re a smoker and you’re ready to quit, today is a great time to do it. And, there is a wide array of products and programs to help you kick cigarettes for good. Some, like Zyban, require a doctor’s prescription. But at HSI, we’ve found an over-the-counter herbal remedy that is proven to break nicotine addiction. We first featured it in the December 2000 Members Alert newsletter. It’s called CIG-NO, and it works by creating an immediate physical aversion to tobacco.
CIG-NO’s active ingredient, an herb called Plantago Major, reacts with tobacco smoke and sends powerful negative messages to the body. Packaged as a concentrated spray, a quick burst on the tongue goes to work in just five seconds. In clinical trials, 83 percent of heavy smokers felt an aversion to tobacco shortly after receiving the dose – and the effect lasted as long as 24 hours. Plus, CIG-NO has shown no side effects – unlike prescription drugs like Zyban, which can cause sleeplessness, dry mouth, nausea, and even seizures. You can order it by contacting M. E. Cody Products at 800-431-2582. For more information, visit their website at www.cigno.com.
Don’t be misled by the tobacco industry’s latest misinformation campaign. If you’re a smoker ready to make a change, make it a REAL change for the better – quit cigarettes for good. Don’t just settle for LESS lethal ones.
Sources:
(1) Advertisement, The Baltimore Sun, November 13, 2001, Page 16A AMA Statement, November 8, 2001, “AMA calls new tobacco ads dangerously misleading”
Copyright 1997-2002 by Institute of Health Sciences, L.L.C.
